Ranger's Birth Story

Let's dust this old blog off, shall we? It's only been... three and a half years since I've written anything.

We welcomed our second son, Ranger Grant Stevens, into our family on Saturday, February 24th, 2018.

I'll be honest. I was nervous to add to our family and disrupt our routine (a full night's sleep cannot be understated). Our world revolved around Denver. I couldn't imagine how it could be possible to love another little person in the same capacity as I love Denver. But it's true - you can. Your heart somehow grows and the love multiplies.

Ranger's birth was quite a different experience than Denver's. Denver's birth didn't have any complications per se, but it was chaotic - I describe it as fast and furious. I had a birth plan, the core of which was a desire for a natural birth. That didn't happen, ha! Denver came 10 days "late" and my labor went from 0-100 with no warm up. It was intense back labor and contractions kicking off at five minutes apart. The short version of that story is that I couldn't get a grip and was basically screaming my way through contractions from the get-go until my epidural kicked in. It wasn't the labor I had been dreaming of, one where I was in control of my body and mentally present through the experience. The important thing is that I still ended up with my sweet Denver, healthy and perfect in my arms at the end of it all. Obviously that is what matters and birth is unpredictable by nature, so I learned.

Now... Here is Ranger's story:

***(I have chosen to include some of our birth photos. They are precious to me, but are real, raw moments. Please view at your own discretion and be kind - scroll on if it's not for you.)***

I chose to be induced with Ranger at 41 weeks. That wasn't a decision I'd ever imagined myself to make, especially since in my first pregnancy I was adamantly shooting for as natural, intervention-free birth as possible. I'd read studies and done research on how induction births are more likely to lead to further intervention and have a higher rate of ending in c-section, that Pitocin labors are harder on mom and baby, the epidural and Pitocin can cause baby's heart rate to spike and drop, etc. Everything I had researched pitted me against an induction. But I found myself opting for it this time, in spite of all of that. It ended up being the best choice I could have possibly made. I'll explain.

In the last three weeks leading up to Ranger's birth, I had a couple of false alarms where we thought it was "go-time". One of my midwives checked me at 38.5 weeks and I was 3.5 cm/70% effaced/super soft, which meant things were "very favorable". She said, "Be ready to go. I'm a little worried if your water breaks, you won't make it to the hospital in time!" So we got ready. And waited. And waited. And waited.  At my 40 week appointment, I opted for a membrane sweep to hopefully get things going. To our surprise, nothing happened. On top of this, we were concerned and stressed about what we were going to do with Denver when I went into labor. We live 30 minutes from our closest family and my midwives just kept emphasizing that my labor was most likely going to be fast. I was also positive for Group B Strep, meaning I also needed to receive a full dose of antibiotics while in labor, before delivery, to protect baby - again, potentially unlikely if my labor went too fast. With that in mind, my anxious mind was racing with thoughts of another chaotic labor. I went to my midwives at 40w+6d and told them my concerns, my frustrations, and my inner struggle to opt for an induction to eliminate several stressful variables. They told me it was entirely my choice and I decided it would be better for my sanity/anxiety/stress, to be able to have a plan in place. I am so glad I did. We were able to make arrangements for Denver, finish last minute prep at the house, let our birth photographer know in advance, and get a full night's sleep.

Birth Day - 9:00 AM

We arrived at the hospital and met my Dad and step-mom in the parking lot to take Denver. I squeezed my sweet boy as an only child for the last time and told him we would see him when baby brother got here. We went inside, checked in, and headed up to labor & delivery on the second floor. It was a Saturday morning, but there was seemingly no other patients around. The L&D nurses were all cheery as they welcomed us to the floor and brought us to our room. It felt so strange to walk calmly into the delivery room and be able to get settled, knowing I was about to go into labor and give birth. We had also decided not to tell any friends or family our plan to induce and just enjoy the experience between the two of us. That, and we wanted to surprise everyone with Ranger's arrival.

Our nurse, Sarah, put in my IV and started my antibiotics. I was to get two full doses before they were to start the induction (pitocin). One thing I hadn't decided was whether or not I was going to still get an epidural. As I said before, Pitocin labors can be harder than natural labors because it forces your body to have contractions, stronger and faster. I was also fairly certain that Ranger was posterior, meaning he was positioned face up with the back of his head on my tailbone. This meant I would likely be dealing with back labor again. The thought of back labor greatly intimidated me because of the horrible experience I had with it in my labor with Denver. But I was hoping that since I had an idea that it was coming that I could mentally prepare myself for it and at least try to labor through it. I decided I would try, but if I felt it was going to become too much, I would call for an epidural sooner than later. We turned on some music, let the antibiotics run their course, while Bronson and I chatted.

12:00 PM

Sarah (nurse) came in and started the Pitocin. She told me it would take about 45 minutes for it to kick in. About 30 minutes later, my two attending midwives, Brynea and Tammy, came in to check my cervix and break my water (THAT was a weird feeling!). I was 5-6 cm and 80% effaced. They also kept talking about how soft my cervix was, essentially saying that I was likely to progress/dilate quickly. After they broke my water, I stood up to use the bathroom and felt my first real contraction. And... it was back labor. I greeted this old frienemy and said to myself I was going to work through as many contractions as I could. For some reason, techniques I had learned in preparation for my natural birth with Denver came to my mind. Through each one, I stood and rocked my hips side to side while letting out low "ooooohs", trying to keep my face and body relaxed, while Bronson applied counter pressure directly onto my tailbone as hard as he could. It felt like a deeply human, primal experience. I was zoned in to my body and each wave as it came. As the surges would peak, my body shook violently. Each contraction felt like an eternity and right when I felt like I couldn't bear another moment, it would subside. They were coming hard and only a few minutes apart. It was incredibly painful and exhausting. After about 25 minutes, I decided to call it - I wanted the epidural. Based on how I was feeling, I figured by the time the anesthesiologist came and the epidural kicked in, I would be maxed out. They called in the anesthesiologist and I got the epidural. It took it quite a while to fully kick in (about 45 minutes), but I was so relieved when it did.

2:45 PM
Our birth photographer, Abbie, arrived. Abbie snapped a few detail shots and chatted with us and then went out to wait in the lobby. Shortly after, Tammy (midwife) came in, checked me again, and said, "You're at a 9!" I just looked at her and said, "No way!" We were progressing quickly, like they had predicted. I texted Abbie with an update and told her we'd be ready soon.

3:30 PM
Tammy and Brynea came back in and did another cervical check - 10 cm and fully effaced! Tammy looked at me and said, "Okay, let's see how you push!" I requested that they bring in a mirror so I could see my progress while I pushed - something I did in my labor with Denver that helped me when I started to burn out (I pushed for an hour and a half with Denver). They brought in a mirror and put my legs in the stirrups (so cute... not). Everyone got situated, Bronson on my left, a nurse on my right, and my midwives at the ready. My epidural was in full force at that point and I literally had no feeling in my legs. I told Tammy, "I seriously can't feel a thing, I have no idea how to push, so I'm just going guess..." We waited for a contraction. I closed my eyes and did my best to push, directing my energy down and out. Right away, Tammy said, "Good, good... whoa! Stop, stop!" I opened my eyes and she said, "Okay! Well, we don't want you to tear, so let's do little baby pushes." I was so confused until Bronson said, "Look!" and pointed at the mirror, where you could clearly see the top of Ranger's head emerging. I guess I knew how to push! We waited for another contraction and did three little pushes, half of Ranger's face was out. Another contraction, three little pushes, and his head was out. One more contraction, three little pushes, and I felt the tidal wave of release as his body left mine. The nurses unsnapped my hospital gown and immediately put Ranger on my chest. Oh, that feeling! The rush of love and feeling his warm, gooey little body on mine, all purple as we rubbed him to cry and take his first breath. It took him a minute, but he let out one gurgly cry and it hit me. After all the waiting, the miserable last few weeks, and feeling like the day would never come, Ranger was finally here. I held him close and just stared at him, breathing him in, all the while he calmly laid on my chest. I turned to Bronson and gave him a kiss. We did it, again! Another perfect little boy, all ours. Forever.

*** birth photos below, view at your own discretion. ***

Sarah (nurse), Tammy (amazing midwife), me, Ranger, Bron

Right after Ranger was born, we called my parents to have them head over to the hospital with Denver. I was so anxious to finally see my boys together for the first time. It was a moment I had imagined for months. As I figured, the moment was so sweet, but fleeting as Denver quickly became more interested in the delivery room and its amenities rather than his brother. Haha! But there was a moment when Denver sat holding Ranger for the first time and he looked at me and said, "I need to pat his head, Mom." and gently stroked Ranger's head. He was so gentle and tender. Having our little family of four together was almost too much for me to take in. It all felt surreal to finally be living the day I had been yearning for for months.

I still can't believe how smoothly everything went. It was really everything I wanted in a birth. Being someone who battles anxiety daily, I always fear worst-case scenarios. But everything this day went so well and I feel incredibly grateful the beautiful experience it was.

Ranger has been a wonderful baby since day one. He has the calmest, sweetest disposition and only ever fusses when hungry. We do great with nursing (aside from his tendency to fall asleep on the boob, ha!). Last night I even got a four hour stretch of sleep! Life changing after surviving on two hours of sleep at a time. Denver is a great big brother and is seemingly unchanged by Ranger's arrival. He talks to Ranger like he's always been here. Bronson is the best support and partner I could ask for, always offering to make me food or bring me whatever I need. I am the luckiest girl to have my three handsome boys. My heart is full.