Dreams Becoming Reality

I have some exciting news to share, but felt the need to include some (okay, a lot) of my journey of how I've reached the point I'm at. So yeah, this is a novel.

I recently picked up my photography business for the first time since I had Denver. I fell in love with photography when a friend first lent me a DSLR (read: fancy camera) and taught me how to shoot manual when I was fifteen. I couldn't get enough. On my sixteenth birthday, I had saved up enough money to buy myself my very own DSLR, a Canon Rebel XS (whoo!) That trusty little Canon was my favorite possession. In my senior year of high school, I began offering photography services for practically nothing to get some experience under my belt. When I graduated high school, I thought I was meant to pursue music. I moved up to NAU, but kept my camera close by. I was still taking photos and would frequently borrow my dad's much nicer model Canon (the first 5D) and lenses that he never used (my dad's not a photographer -- don't ask me why he owned it. I benefited from it, so I didn't ask questions). That equipment helped me expand my skills and gave me much more power and creative control. It was like going from driving a beat-down crap car to a Ferarri. In the time I spent living in Flagstaff, I photographed a few engaged couples and two weddings, including one up in Salt Lake City. I remember feeling so excited in the moment while shooting and then later in the hours I would spend editing the photos. Though my main focus was music, I loved any time I could spend behind the camera. I left Flag in December of '11 and moved home to Gilbert, where I met my husband two weeks later.

Fast forward to 2012 -- I began cosmetology school in AZ, moved to Colorado with my husband,  graduated, moved back to AZ halfway through my pregnancy, and became a licensed cosmetologist this last spring, just prior to having Denver. I loved beauty school and thought that was the industry where I belonged. It felt so familiar to me, growing up in a home where my mom owned salons and worked as a successful stylist for 20+ years. While I was in beauty school, I had several opportunities to utilize my love for photography in our hair shows and styled shoots we arranged. I would take any opportunity to build a portfolio, for a dream photography business I would cross my fingers and hope to have while being a hairstylist and mom. Part of me felt like that would never become a reality, because I didn't think I would be capable of establishing myself as both a stylist and a photographer and since I paid for beauty school, that was what I "had to do".

After I had Denver, people began asking me when I planned to start doing hair. My short answer was that I was just enjoying being a mom and hadn't decided when or where that was going to happen. When Denver was a few months old, I began to panic thinking about starting work in the hair industry. When I say panic, I mean I was legitimately having anxiety attacks (thanks, PPD) thinking about establishing a clientele, leaving Denver, and how many stylists don't make a profit at all when they're first building up. It takes an average of two years to establish a solid clientele and start bringing in money. But what if I want to have another baby in two years? I'll have barely started making money and have to hand over my clients or do who knows what? How do people make this work? I wrestled with my options and different scenarios over and over again. I prayed and prayed. I shouldn't feel this way about getting into a career that I love. I was not excited whatsoever -- I was dreading it. I asked myself what I really wanted and envisioned starting up a photography business. When I pictured myself as a photographer, I felt a wave of excitement and happiness. That was what I needed to do. But how?

One day, I fell apart in the middle of one of my panic attacks in front of Bronson. I just sobbed and confessed that I had no desire to do hair anymore and that my heart was telling me to pursue photography. His reply was exactly what I wanted to hear, "Okay, then let's do it. What can I do to help? Let's make a plan." We did. With that, I dove head first into the world of starting up a photography business.

With the help of my wonderful family, I was able to start up my business and am proud to say it is a registered LLC (yay for paying taxes -- ha!). I've spent hours reading, researching, writing, organizing, planning, and doing all the not-so-fun-stuff (like contracts, licensing, insurance -- all the things you don't think about when you think of photography) along the way. Since I picked up my camera and jumped in the beginning of October, I have been blessed with constant work and clients. I've had more paying photography sessions in the last eight weeks since I started than I had in the last three years. Obviously, I think a good portion of it has had to do with the fact that everyone and their mother (literally) wants photos for the holidays. But I'll take anything I can get right now! However, I do have a specific goal and direction I want to take my business in: birth photography.

My dream goal is to specialize in birth and the events surrounding it, maternity and newborn lifestyle photography. While I was pregnant and spending much of my time researching birth, I noticed many women wanted to document their birth experience, particularly those women desiring a natural birth. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this genre, a birth photographer captures the labor, delivery, and first moments of life documentary-style, in a way that tells the story of baby's arrival. (Not an anatomy lesson. Understand?) I had no idea birth photography was a genre or "a thing", but the images I saw were nothing short of beautiful. I kid you not, every time I look at another photographer's work from a birth session, I almost always cry or get emotional. I did not have a professional birth photographer when I had Denver, but I did have my camera with me and my husband knew enough of the basics to snap a few shots that I will treasure forever. I want to create images that make you feel something every time you look at it, whether it be the first time or the 1000th time. Birth photography, when done well, is the epitome of that to me.

Now, birth photography isn't for everyone. Some people prefer to be private or would rather wait until things are nice and tidy before taking photos, which is totally fine. So, I've been contemplating how to get the experience and build my portfolio. The answer, in a word -- freebies. I had to do it when I started out and didn't have any kind of portfolio. Now here I am trying to build a portfolio with a very specific genre of work that not just anyone would be available and open to. I reached out to my former Hypnobirthing instructor and asked her to pass along my information to her current clients and FB groups she is a part of. That was this afternoon. As of right now, I have been contacted by five pregnant mammas who are open and eager to have a birth photographer and only imagine I will hear from more over the next several days at this rate. It will be tough to narrow it down to a few! My soonest mamma-to-be is due in less than two weeks and I will be meeting her in the next few days! I have seriously only ever thought this would be possible in my wildest dreams. I could not be more thrilled to start this new chapter in my life. I feel so incredibly blessed to be doing what I love and building a business that will be able to help support my family and our future. This whole experience has been humbling and encouraging to have had such a positive response to my new adventure in photography. I cannot wait to get to work.

**If you are interested in seeing beautiful birth photography examples, visit Birth Photography on Facebook. Please note that some of the images may contain graphic elements. Birth is messy and people are known to be naked, so view at your own discretion. ;)