Denver's Birth Story

I am finally sitting down to write out the tale of how little man made his entrance into the world. Oddly enough, it is from a hospital room where we have found ourselves again all too soon due to an infection in Denver's kidney. That's the short version of current events and a story for another time. For now, I will recall the events of a much better day.

Before I begin, I share this with you from a special place in my heart. I am happy to share my story, because I believe that every birth is beautiful and that we can all learn from each others experiences. Everyone has their own thoughts and feelings on birth. I would appreciate if comments were kind and respectful. I had/have many thoughts myself and had "plans" for my birth that you can read from my earlier post here. I knew early on that there was a chance that my hopes for my birth plan may not come to be and that childbirth is highly unpredictable. That being said, as I share my story with you, I would appreciate that any comments be kind and respectful as this is the most special story I have to share and I love it for what it came to be, through and through.

Please note that I am including photos, nothing graphic but there are a couple that were captured "in the moment" that I feel bring the story to life but this is just a heads up to some people that may be sensitive. Also, there might be a *TMI* moment here and there, but you're reading a birth story so you ought to know what you're in for. Carrying on!

Denver was due March 27th, 2014. That day came and went, much to my dismay. The next day came and went, as did the next, and the next, and the day after that, and so on. Each day was hard, waking up and thinking, "Okay...maybe today!" and I would cry myself to sleep almost every night, crushed that I still had a baby in my belly, not in my arms, and not even a hint that labor was near. I went to my 41 week appointment on a Friday, April 4th, with one of my midwives, knowing that I had only six days to let baby come on his own before induction would become necessary. I had tried everything under the sun (except castor oil -- yuck!) to try to stimulate labor on my own. Nothing worked. My midwife, Ramona, and I talked and scheduled my induction for Monday night if he hadn't come on his own. I was struggling to accept that induction was seeming more and more likely. I then thought to ask for a membrane sweep before I left my appointment as a last ditch effort to get things going naturally. Ramona agreed and said that if she checked my cervix and thought it would help, she would do it. She checked me and became very excited as she told me I was already 3 cm dilated, 80% effaced, my cervix was soft, and that if she proceeded to do the membrane sweep, I would have my baby that weekend! Of course I said go for it -- I wanted to see my baby days ago! I got in my car after the appointment, called Bronson, and cried out of happiness. We were going to meet our boy in the next couple of days! That afternoon, I started to feel mild contractions and see other signs that labor was imminent. I went to bed thrilled to see progress and things moving in the right direction.

The next morning (Saturday), I woke up and everything had stopped. Cold turkey. I was pretty devastated bummed. Bronson had the day off from work, so we got breakfast burritos from Los (of course) in our PJs and visited some family for the day. The day passed uneventfully. That night I cried hard. Tomorrow would be the last day of the weekend and there were no more contractions or anything indicating that he was coming. I was going to be induced on Monday night and my birth that I had hoped for was going out the window. Bronson just held me and let me cry and helped me realize that no matter what happened, our son would be in our arms in no more than a couple of days. I found comfort in his words and with that, we went to bed.

Sunday morning, I got up at 5 AM to pee for the billionth time as usual and as I sat on the toilet, I had a contraction. It was mild, but I was pretty sure it was there. I stayed up for an hour and sure enough, they were coming about 20 minutes apart. I knew that at this rate, they were probably either going to increase gradually or (hopefully not) could go away altogether like they had the other day. So I decided to go back to sleep. I woke up around 7:30 and lay in bed to see if I was still feeling contractions. They were still about 20 minutes apart. I woke up Bronson and told him what was going on and that I wasn't sure it was the real deal, but I sent him to the grocery store for bananas and granola bars for no other reason than they suddenly sounded good. He came back and I was still in bed timing my contractions, which were still 18-20 minutes apart and mild. They felt almost exactly like period cramps. I decided to turn on our church's General Conference and get situated to stay where I was because early labor takes forever, right? WRONG.

Somewhere between 9:30-9:45, I shot up from bed feeling the urgent need to get to the bathroom or something veeeeery bad was going to happen. It felt like a do or die situation in there, people. Everything happened so quickly that it took me a good five minutes to realize that my labor had just picked up speed exponentially and things just got real. I figured out that what I was experiencing was not my insides coming out or my tailbone breaking in half, but the hellish fiend called back labor. Forget that mild period cramping. This stuff came straight from Satan's fiery inferno. I yelled for Bronson and got on all fours on my bed, trying to utilize my friend, gravity, to help take baby's head away from the bottom of my spine. My contractions were timing roughly five minutes apart and I was still trying to grapple the fact that my labor had taken off like a gunshot without any warning. Bronson first tried to call our Doula, who didn't answer, which was very strange as she had made it clear to me the day before that her ringer was turned all the way up and she was not without her phone for a moment. I knew something had to be wrong but we didn't have the time to figure out what it was so we just left her a voicemail. He then called our midwife who said to head to the hospital after an hour of consistent contractions. I wasn't sure I was going to make it, but what choice did I have? Friends, I had been practicing HypnoBirthing for MONTHS, relaxation and focusing techniques, and I could not get it together. At one point, I was on all fours on my bed, head buried in my hands, yelling through a contraction, when Bronson came in and turned on my HypnoBirthing script through my phone and set it by my ear and quietly shut the door. I knew he meant well, but in that moment, I just yelled, "BronSOOOOON!" and chucked my phone onto the floor. I tried to kill time and find relief in the shower but it seemed no matter what I did, there was no relief to be had.

At 10:45 AM, we loaded into the Jeep and took off on the worst car ride of my life. I rode backwards, holding on to the back of my fully-reclined seat, still yelling through contractions. My life was the scene from the movies with the crazy lady in labor who cannot keep it together and her poor husband is doing his best, speeding through traffic to the hospital. We made it to the hospital, Bron helped me into a wheelchair and wheeled me into the ER where I continued to attract attention as they sent us up in to OB Triage. Upon entering triage, I climbed onto a bed, reclaimed my position of all-fours, whereupon the nurse asked me to lie on my back so she could strap on the monitors to get a reading of baby's heart and my contractions. I told her that wasn't possible for me and she decided to check my cervix. Less than a minute later, she said, "Alright, you're six centimeters and 100% effaced which is active labor. Let's get you into a room." and with that, we were in motion again and then shortly we were in my delivery room.

I had my eyes shut through most of everything since we entered the hospital as I was still yelling through my contractions every five minutes, but I remember several nurses trying to work on me once we entered our room. One nurse yelled in my ear, "Don't move! I have to get your IV in for your antibiotics!" Another one needed to draw blood. My nurse from triage was next to me, trying to tell me to stay in control and to breathe. I managed to cry, "Where is the anesthesiologist?!" and was told I had to first speak to my midwife, who would be arriving in fifteen minutes. I had all I could handle and yes, I decided to get the epidural. In my pregnancy, I knew that if anything deterred me from my resolve to go drug-free, it would be back labor, which is what happened. My midwife came in and she made sure that an epidural was what I really wanted. I told her I had reached my limit and that I was sure. She made the call to the anesthesiologist who came in a few minutes later. My epidural was put in (I will never know/understand how I sat still through that) and about three contractions later, the full effects of the epi had kicked in and I had the sweet relief that I had been waiting for. At that point, I recollected myself and apologized to everyone in the room for my Dr. Jekyll + Mr. Hyde persona. They all just laughed at me and said it was normal. Our doula entered the room just after, apologizing profusely for not answering earlier. Turned out that the cell towers in her area had gone out (bizarre and today of all days!) and she got our voicemail and came straight to the hospital. A few minutes later, my best friend, Chelsea, entered the room, much to my surprise. I had told my sister to tell my three best girlfriends when I went into labor and my sweet Chelsea, showed up in my room and said, "Well, isn't this what people do in the movies? They just sit in the waiting room until the baby comes?" I just laughed and told her to call my sister and try to pass the time until he was born. Madie came by just a bit later and reentered the room with Chelsea. After a brief visit, they went back out to the waiting room.

Happy with my epi

My perspective from bed. Handsome guy, isn't he?

Watching Gatsby.

Left line - Baby's Heart rate :: Right line - Contractions

Chelsea and Madie visiting after my epidural

We had arrived at the hospital just before 11 AM, my epi was in before 11:30, and just after noon, I was checked by my nurse and found to be complete at 10 centimeters and my water was no longer in tact, though there was no sign of it having broken (this was a mystery and still remains to be). Instead of jumping straight into pushing, my nurse and midwife told me that we were going to hold off for a little bit and let baby continue to move down the birth canal on his own because we needed a few extra sets of hands that were unavailable at the time. My midwife and nurse informed me that because of Denver's estimated size (9.5 lbs), he was at risk for shoulder dystocia, a rare but dangerous complication for large babies during delivery where their shoulders get stuck in the birth canal. Hearing the details of what could possibly occur during delivery was pretty alarming, but they assured me that they were taking all the necessary precautions and we would be okay. So, we just passed through the next few hours by watching The Great Gatsby and talking. Just before 4:30, my midwives came in and told me we were going to do some "practice pushes" and then get things going for real. I had two midwives present to deliver Denver -- Melissa was one of my midwives I had seen many times and really liked and trusted, and we had Keli from the other midwife office who was shadowing as part of her CNM certification (she also turned out to be the mom of a friend of Bronson's -- small world!). I felt that I was in good hands from the very start. I attempted one practice push and decided that I couldn't feel what was going on enough and requested my epidural be decreased. The anesthesiologist came back in and turned it down and I went right back to pushing. I could feel my contractions peak and knew when to push. It was exhausting but exciting. When I started to get tired, my midwives asked me if I wanted a mirror to see my progress. I decided why not, I could move it if I didn't want it any more. Having the mirror gave me lots of motivation because I could see my progress, albeit slow. When things got serious, pushing became more intense and frequent and my midwives invited Bronson to come and hold one of my legs. He could see what was going on and became very excited and started cheering me on. I fixated on his voice and pushed with all I had. In my last five minutes of pushing, everyone was on fire with encouragement. I heard them say his head was out, Bronson said, "He's coming!" and I gave one final push and out Denver came at exactly 6:00 PM on April 6th!

My first look at Denver when he was placed right on me after delivery.

First moments of life

Denver James Stevens. April 6th, 2014 @ 6:00 PM. 8 lbs 12 oz.

Denver was placed straight on my abdomen right after he was born. For all of five seconds. As soon as I looked down, I remember seeing him for only a moment and feeling his warmth all over me before my midwife told me that he needed to have the cord cut ASAP and be taken to get cleaned stat because he had swallowed and breathed meconium, his first bowel movement, in utero. As quickly as he had been placed on me, he was whisked away across the room while the nurses suctioned out his mouth and airway. Thankfully, he was fine and within seconds I could hear his healthy cry. Once things calmed down, I also learned that when he came out, he pooped all over me and everyone and it got everywhere! Everyone had a good laugh in amazement of how much of a mess he made. A few minutes later, the nurse wrapped him up and placed him on my chest. I finally had my beautiful, sweet boy in my arms. Bronson came over and joined me and we just cried from sheer overwhelming joy that our Denver was finally here. He was perfect and beautiful in every single way. We were in love from the moment we first saw him and are even more in love with him every single day.

Our first meeting.

The AMAZING people that helped bring Denver into the world! Midwives Melissa & Keli, nurse Patricia, doula Faye, and Bron.

The road to Denver's arrival was long and difficult and at times, I thought it would never be over. But it did eventually come to an end and I thank Heaven for that. I accept and love my birth story for what it is and have since day one. It was nothing like what I had imagined/wanted/"planned" for. It all went sideways and that is okay with me. My son is here. He is beautiful, healthy, and perfect and that is what matters more than anything else. I am so in love with every bit of his tiny self and sweet little spirit. I love and cherish being a mother, even through the tough parts (and there are many!). Nothing else in my life has brought me such love and joy. Nothing has flipped my world upside down like this tiny human has. He has a hold on me like no other. I am so grateful for my sweet husband. He is the best, most supportive companion and seeing him as a dad just melts my heart. I love my boys. My heart is so full. I am blessed beyond measure.

Father & Son

Families are forever. <3